The Cosmetician’s Quiet Rant

THE COSMETICIAN’S QUIET RANT

“All we do is talk. When you come right down to it. That’s our job. To keep the customer happy by talking. And smiling. And listening. It’s very important to listen. The customer must feel as if she is the centre of your world. Listen. But not too long. You could fall asleep. It is so hard to focus. I like to rub my tongue along my teeth. Customers can go on. About their problems with dry hair. Or dry skin. Or dry eyes. Dry is a common refrain. I had one lady complain about her private parts. Being dry. She should talk to a doctor about that. Right? Does she? No. She talks to a cosmetician. What does that tell you about the confidence these women have in us? And why is that? Because looks are important. We live on the surface. Beauty is skin deep. You don’t make an impression at work and you don’t get that promotion unless… You can’t look like a hag. Right? And let’s face it. Most women’s looks leave them pretty early in the picture. And once you lose those looks what are you left with? The look. The look that we sell. In bottles. In tubes. In sprays. It’s the look that women see on the covers of magazines. The look that younger women wear. On magazines. You don’t think any of those younger women want to actually look like that in their own lives, do you? Younger women have other issues. Except the morons. You know the type. They’ve been making themselves up since grade seven. They keep looking in the mirror thinking that they’ll find something new. It’s terrible to say. A lot of them become cosmeticians. But they don’t last. No discipline. No ambition. Think they’re in show business. Think they’re going to be a starlet someday. You can’t afford to get caught up in the illusion. A dealer shouldn’t get hooked on his own merchandise. And what about men? Well, in our world, they don’t get a vote.”